17th of October

Sometimes my mind only can think about one thing and that thing is not …….. Today is a day like that. Nothing comes out of my hands. My mind is making overtime thinking about how I would like things to work here in the NGVP in Nasarawa and the other states. My mind is rambling about transport, guides to help successors, organizational issues, things that should have been done before I came into this country. It is wrong I know because I cannot change a lot. I cannot change the project bust still, I cannot seem to turn my mind of and just do what I came here to do…… teaching volunteers how to teach. There is so much more. Stop thinking about all that….. Stop attracting all the problems volunteers ventilate ……. Stop doing the coordinators job for the whole country……..

When is VSO giving the volunteers (including the internationals) full support? Support like a clear structure, an ear that listens, a person that is not to busy doing other (more) important stuff.

Luckely Habu is here to help me in Nasarawa. He is willing to learn and to do a lot of the administrative work, the only thing with him is he needs official orders from NYSC to do the big things. He also needs me to tell him what he should do, but I don’t even know what I need to do. I want to teach him my part of this programme so that when I’m leaving he can take over. Pffff…… want to do it all today…… impossible.

So I got home, on my way I met a friend and we chatted for a while. We chatted a bit to long for me to be in time at the tennis court. I had an appointment with Ali to play befor the others would come, I was just 15 minutes late. Already far too many people were there. What to do? Stay and play a game or go home? I stayed, because Ali encouraged me to. We could make a double. Okay, I ll stay……. But when it was time for us to get into the court and the opponents saw that I was about to play, they walked out saying they didn’t want to play as I was playing. Signs all clear for me….. if a guest is not welcome the guest will leave.